Proximity Seeking
How strongly you reach for connection when stressed. Some people pull closer, some pull away, some freeze. This is your automatic response when you feel threatened in a relationship.
Mercedes Hesselroth and Her Tata's Last Year
Proximity Seeking tracks the automatic response toward or away from connection under stress. Mercedes Hesselroth's Tata, under the stress of grief, physical decline, and displacement, consistently deflected affirmations and expressed a wish to die — pulling away from the connection Mercedes was actively extending. Mercedes herself, when stressed, had historically done the same thing through self-deprecation rather than reaching toward those who loved her. The mirror moment — her mother's quiet 'now you know how I feel' — showed Mercedes that her own proximity-seeking dial had long been set to withdrawal, not reach.